He is too good to me!

Got the results.... Drum roll please.
NO MS!!! The MRI showed 2 discs in my neck bulging and that's what has caused all my headaches and the numbness in my fingers. The rest of my symptoms are easily explained by tachycardia. Never in my life did I think I'd be praising the Lord for a heart problem, but this last few months have put things into perspective... Not that I think heart problems are no big deal, but when you put MS up next to tachycardia, it looks so much better!
Anyway, thanks for praying for me. I'll let you know next week what the doc says about the heart monitor results.

Big Week....

So, I've got a lot on my mind this week. I think I've convinced myself that there's actually nothing wrong (even though my body denies it,) but I'm feeling the pressure today.
It's hard to believe that we've been waiting for 3 months for the MRI I'm having today. Since I've waited that long for this test, it's been hard not to live my days pretending that my headaches are normal, that everyone goes blind every so often, that fainting is no biggie, etc etc etc. I guess the problem today is that, as much as I'd like to continue this denial, today I'm faced with the stark realities of what's happening....
I'm feeling pretty certain that my problems are actually stemming from the tachycardia rather than MS... Is it just because I am hoping so hard that this is the case because heart problems are easier to deal with that MS, or am I 'tuned in' to what's happening in my body?
I'm not feeling a whole lot of peace today, so there's only one answer... I'm going to choose to soak myself in God's promises this morning... And I'm taking you along for the ride!
Isaiah 38:16-17 -  You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In you love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back. I know that God is allowing me to experience what I am experiencing because it's going to be good for me...
Isaiah 40:31 -  But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; the will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint. Yup, I'm feeling weary, but if I simply lay back in my Savior's arms, He'll give me more strength than I've ever needed!
Lamentations 3:22-24 - Because of the Lord's great love we we are not consumed for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." He's trustworthy. He's compassionate.  He's merciful. He loves me. He's more than enough.
Jonah 1:2, 6, 7 - In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help and you listened to my cry... But you brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God. When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord. He has picked me up out of much deeper pits in my life.... When I was younger and living my life to satisfy my own desires, He reached down and lifted me up... He heard me crying out and He forgave me!
Phillipians 4:4, 6-7, 12-13 -  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!... Do NOT be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving [Be thankful because He's already answered your prayer and because of His infinite wisdom,] present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God, which transcends all  understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. [Whether healthy or sick.] I can do EVERYTHING through Him who gives me strength.
James 4:15: And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well, the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.
1 Peter 5:7 -  Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.
1 John 3:1 - How great is the love the Father has for us, that we should be called children of God!
1 John 4:18 - Perfect love casts out fear.
Funny.... I read these verses and God's already fulfilled His promises for me.... My heart is overflowing with thankfulness and peace. He puts things into perspective... By choosing to turn my eyes on Jesus, He's chased away my fears. How can I be nervous/anxious and say that I love/trust God at the same time?
Preach-y entry? That's okay. I made a promise to you months back that I would be open and honest while I write.... This is me, believe it or not, simply expressing what's in my heart, moment by moment.
Thanks for praying for me, readers. Bless you!

Call it good?

My devotion hit me so hard this morning, I just had to share it with you.

Psalm 13:

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord

for he has been good to me.

Can we really know whether to label life's circumstances as good or bad?

For instance, your car breaks down right before you are to take a family road trip. But when you take the car to the shop, the mechanic says, "Good thing you didn't take this out on the road. It could have caught fire." Is that bad because of the inconvenience, or good because of God's protection?

Or perhaps your child decides to pursue interests that aren't all that interesting to you. You wanted her to play basketball and run track in high school. But she wanted to sing and play the oboe. You feel frustrated, but she excels and ends up with a music scholarship. Is that bad because your dreams weren't fulfilled, or good because God directed her in ways you could not have predicted?

Sometimes it's hard to see how God is working. His mysteries don't always reveal their secrets to us, and our journey is often redirected by uncontrollable detours. Perhaps God is showing us a better route.

To make sure we benefit from what might seem bad, we must recognize and trust God's "unfailing love" (Ps. 13:5.) In the end, we'll be able to say, "I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me" (Ps. 13:6.)

-Dave Branon, Our Daily Bread

As you know, I've been struggling with my health lately. Most of the time, I choose to trust, but to be honest, I've questioned God. Why do I have to experience this.... Haven't I been through more than my share in my life? Talk about self-pitying and self-absorbed behavior!

I had an appointment with my doctor on Wednesday. I've been struggling with a racing heart and I thought he should know, just in case it changed what he thought might be wrong with me. My heart rate ranges from 90 beats per minute while I'm relaxed and not experiencing the racing sensation, to 160 bpm at rest. When my doctor took my pulse in the office it was 90 bpm and he said that's too high. When I told him how high my pulse goes, he was definitely concerned. He's scheduled me to wear a Holter Monitor (a portable EKG) for 48 hours. The sooner they catch the tachycardia (fast heart) on a strip, the sooner they can treat me for it. Dr. S told me that many of the symptoms that they've associated with MS could be explained by Supraventricular Tachycardia.

A few months ago, I would have labeled heart trouble as a bad situation. I mean, I'm 30! I'm not supposed to think about heart health for years yet! Now I look at SVT as a blessing. Odd, isn't it? I struggled to trust God when I was told that I might have MS. I didn't understand and I DEFINITELY labeled that situation as negative, but God knows exactly what He's up to. He's got my back. He's going to work all things for my good because I love Him (Romans 8:28)

Look at my husband Trevor's past year. He was seriously injured at work in November of 2009. His neck was permanently damaged and I'm pretty sure most people would label that as bad. But look at him now.... He's being put through school by WCB, being trained for a job that will be much easier on his body and will allow him a lot of room to advance. He'll be better equipped to provide for his family and we'll most likely have more financial security than we ever thought we'd have. God is using Trevor's injury for his good because Trevor loves God....

So I want to challenge you. When you're experiencing something that you might naturally label as bad, stop and ask yourself... Is God allowing me to experience this because He's directing me or protecting me? Or is God simply allowing me to live through this agony because He doesn't care? God makes a lot of promises in His Word. He won't give us more than we can handle. He'll use all things for the good of those who love Him. He's promised us salvation through His Son, Jesus. He's promised that Jesus will return and that when He does, we'll have no weeping, no sorrow, no pain, no illness. He's promised us compassion and answered prayers. And above all, He's promised us unconditional, unending love.

Amen!